Wedding Pictures, Moving Announcement, and Other Sharing


Dear One,

The last time I wrote I said I would have a big reveal at the end of the week. Well, as always learning learning learning, things that are alive and vibrant have their own perfect time lines, that sometimes are not concerned with mine : ) . Hopefully the big reveal will come this weekend — we’ll see together, you and I, when it will be!

I want you to save the date for September 27th, Saturday, for the free online virtual event full of wisdom and healing that I will be announcing soon.

Chapter 1 — The Cross Country Adventure

My incredible wife has made the brave choice of selling her 15-year-old business, our beloved Reiki School + Clinic, to take time to discover, play, heal and adventure. We are driving off in early October on a month-long road trip across the country and will be arriving in California in November to find our spot for the year. The vision (I rarely say plan — I see a path, I am walking it, co-creating it, responding to it, in real time) is to be out west for a year to be with our muses in a time of fun and self discovery.

For me it’s a time of dedication to the evolution of my teaching, mentoring, and healing work *in* the world. It’s a powerful time of transition. Full of excitement, nerves, grief, and an immense gratitude for life and freedom and possibility.

It’s finally time to share about my wedding. I was thinking this morning, how often when I have a very profound experience it can take months before I want to talk about it or share, and in some ways, I think that is because they are still happening. My marriage feels like that.

In the past month I got the question during my morning practice — “what if I leaned all the way into being married . . . just lean all the way in and find out what life is then.” So here I am leaning. And loving. I have to tell you — I love being married every day a little more. I am pretty sure that’s because leaning into reality is a very peacemaking thing.

I often have a harder time sharing the joy than the hardship — so this is big — I am sharing with you a precious and dear time in my life. I hope this will nourish your wells and support our heartfelt prayers and journey.

Chapter 2 — The Wedding

Kim and I had a many layered wedding. At the time, gay marriage wasn’t recognized by PA so we made plans to be married in DC, which meant that instead of, “by the power vested in me by the state of . . . ” we were married after tear and smile filled vows, “by the power vested in me by the supreme court and congress of the United States,” we are legally married. We laugh a lot about how we’re, like, really married.

The part I really want to share with you, but I have mixed feelings of how to share it, is the heart of our marriage commitment. You know I think companionship, partnership, commitment, community, family and tribe, are all health improving things. Marriage is not required for those connections.

The idea of marrying another person, a human, with the goal of bettering my and their life in many fundamental ways was contrary to the tenants by which I live now. I didn’t and don’t want to join with another person and become 1 (in the way that makes me or them a half), make another person’s happiness my responsibility (have I learned nothing — no one’s feeling are mine to determine), I am not owned nor looking to own, and I put my spiritual path first, God as number 1, spirit guidance the resting place. These beliefs didn’t seem to fit with common examples of marriage I’ve seen.

There’s also that whole perspective of ONENESS in the first place . . . is marrying redundant entirely? Perhaps.

And yet I had this feeling we would someday get married — like a vision, a calling, a longing that I follow like a beacon, trusting that the path it leads me down is going to be awesome, even if the destination isn’t what I thought.

So . . . I sat and I mediated, and prayed . . . you know how I do . . . and I sought council. Over and over the answer came clear.

I asked my inner guidance, my root voice, highest self:

In alignment with my optimal expression on the planet,
Can I marry Kim?



Can I marry God manifested through Kim?

Every time I thought about marriage for me this way I knew clear as day that I can be married to God everyday, and in fact that’s what I wanted. I want to consciously marry the Divine in another. I want to walk with a human as a human and commit to loving the Divine and deepening my love affair (I like to hold my heart, smile and look up, liken my love affair to the ones Rumi, and Hafiz write about).

I wanted and want to have a life long commitment to that — I mean, to a soul on a spiritual path of growth on this planet, 80 years is a blink, half a blink . . . its not even that long to learn how to love God more.

So we went to beach to write our vows, got in a fight, about what, can’t recall — its clear now in hindsight it was the anxiety of committing and investing our lives in this massive prayer, public status, and an evolving household dynamic. I mean, that’s a big deal and could put any person on edge. Then we mediated and wrote the first draft of our vows. The long form had rounds that evolved, but the beginning we used was pretty much the same from that beach day to our personal marriage contract and wedding day vows:


Dear God, Beloved, Great Spirit, seen and unseen, heard and unheard, Great Mother, Oneness, Divine, the Spirit Who Moves Through All things, and all that and more, that which is beyond the articulation, comprehension, and experience of human form; I dedicate my life to the use of your Divine Will. This marriage is my marriage to You, a reflection of my practice and dedication to my fullest potential as an expression of your love.

I marry your form as is manifested in myself and Kim (she said Sophia).

Kim (Sophia), as a reflection of the Divine Mystery that is all things, do you marry and join me in the dedicated practice of partnership, through which we will forge ourselves, each other, our family, and our impact and work in the world as our optimal expression of love?

“I do.”

And we then we spoke vows to help us bring that commitment into reality.

I want to share with you some images from the magic and healing of the marriage festival we had that included hardcore kickball and a lot of music and dancing.

Photo Credit: Nick Antony Photography

The healing that took place in this weekend has been spinning and weaving me into another kind of existence.

We are all changing — everyday. You are. I am. Creating our world with our beliefs, our investments, our choices. Its a powerful thing to think about. The world, the whole thing is just made up by the mixing of us all . . . and yet when we look for a certain thing we are sure to find it.

This week — let’s look for love. Mystery taking care of us. Change being a gift of betterment, and my favorite . . .

permission to be
I             You        We
am.        Are.      Are.

In love and gratitude,

I Am Willing To Admit . . .

Hi loves!!!

I am in total launch mode and a BIG PROJECT will be announced later the week! So excited, it’s coming together and I am thrilled to unveil so soon!

For those of you who were with me at Omega, this week’s video is a throw back to the trust building we did together.

Truth telling and shame clearing are two of my favorite and most effective healing techniques. This video is about their meeting point. I offer an exercise you can use to clear the heaviness of secrets or internal voices with yourself or in relationship.

Relationship — anyone/thing you relate to!

Meaning I encourage you to play these heart opening and truth telling games with family, friends, community members, as well as partners.

The prompt for this exercise consists of:

“I am willing to admit that . . . ”

“The thing I am afraid to say out loud is . . . ”

Since I made this video I added a step. When the sharing is complete the listener/s say:

“I honor you.
I hear you.
I see you.
I thank you.
I love you.”

Play with it. Does it feel best to respond every round, every few times, or at the end?

At the end of the video I talk about a realization I had that turned into a vow — “Honest communication and compassion at all costs and at all times for all involved.”

I’m not claiming that I do this all the time — I am telling you that it’s a vow I made so that when given a moment of awareness inside myself in which I am deciding and weighing truth telling, cost, judgement, and compassion . . . I’ve already decided how it’s going down. It’s going down with truth telling and compassion, towards myself and others.

An Expansive Time

Dear Sweet Traveling Whole Friend,

This is an expansive time! We have been in the peak of light in the northern hemisphere for weeks. We are shifting out of the brightest time of the year. It is an activating, visioning, exposing, desiring, revealing, and hopefully dancing time.

I had an incredible healing experience this past weekend.

My mother and I were talking on Friday and she shared a couple of things with me that have changed me forever. Have you ever had the experience of someone telling you something and you didn’t even realize how important it was to hear that or know that until it was shared?

Well that is exactly what happened. After reading my mini ebook my mother, who has always been generous with expressing her thoughts and appreciation with me, had a few insights to share. She and I, really my whole family, finds it very satisfying to communicate. So it was no surprise to me when she told me she wanted to share a few things. I took a deep breath and got comfortable so I could really listen.

First, she acknowledged the fear I had growing up and into my adulthood about getting sick. Growing up around chronic illness can make a person, especially a child, feel confused and nervous, not understanding if, “I was next.” She said, although it made so much sense, I had never shared with her that I had carried this fear for all of my conscious life, and most likely much before. Even in my consciousness, I didn’t understand it. No one in the house or family or friends understood. How does someone come home from work sick one day and then never go back? There is no comprehension that happens around that; an acceptance perhaps, insights, lessons, gifts, many other things . . . but comprehension . . . that may or may not ever arrive.

She named this experience for me, how she understood and felt for me as a little person carrying all this belly ache.

I cried and received her deep and loving ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. She acknowledged this experience. She empathized, she noted, she reflected, she cared. She named what had been a vague swirl of anxiety.

sophia_ada_mom_sunglasses Secondly, she had a memory of dropping my sister and I off at the subway — I was probably in 6th grade, my sister in the 9th grade — to go to school in South Philly. The next memory my mom had was me calling her from school explaining that she had to go back to the Frenrock station and get my sister because she had fallen asleep on the way to school, and I put her on a train back home saying, “she’s too sick to go to school today.”

My mother told me this past weekend that I took such good care of my sister Ada, and her, and the whole family, and that she didn’t think she ever thanked me for that. I’ll have you know my mother is very good at sharing appreciation, I have received a lot of thanks in my life for many things, but this . . . this . . . this . . . was a way of life for my existence . . . and she was thanking me for that. Thanking me for my life.

She said, “Thank you. Thank you for taking such good care of us, doing all that work.”

fancy_sophia_ada I sat there with tears streaming down my face. It never occurred to me that this was something I would ever hear. I was healing, moment by moment, by the depth of my need for this gratitude. What kept going through my head was, “I would do it all again. I would do it all again.” What I said out loud to her was, “We all did what we could, when we could. We all gave everything we had. Not one of us held back.” My father, brother, sister, mother, me, each of us — what we had to give, we gave. I know we gave from our depths to tend each other and ourselves as best we could. “Considering all the circumstance, I think we all turned out okay,” she said. I laughed and whole heartedly agreed.

This alone is a remarkable story, and I want to share more with you. What followed in the next 24 hours was a deep unfolding of myself in response to this act of love from my mother.

I woke the next day, spent, deeply sad. Heavy and alright. I took myself to the Red Room. I sat in front of my altar, felt little, and didn’t really cry. My wife, Kim, came through. She sat in front of me — “You look so sad.” I said, “I just need some space to be uncomfortable. It will pass. I just need to be here and feel.” She mentioned how gracefully I sit with deep un-comfort and left me to my BEING.



I sat. I journaled. I stretched. I sang. Little moved. Little shifted. I decided to do some pelvic bowl focused work, which tends to get, “right to the root of it.” As soon as I started I was filled with waves, cries, real bellows of grief and fear.

Quickly I was sobbing, weeping, feeling deep wells of hurt.

I again connected to the acknowledgement and gratitude for the experience of my childhood, youth, young adult and adulthood . . . I would soften and feel deep love, and then waves of hurt and pangs of fear would rise again and move through me.

I found myself holding my belly, the bellyache my mother had referred to . . .

I held my head, oh my headaches, I had chronic daily headaches starting at 11 years old . . .

Then I placed my hands on my heart. Heartache . . .

Each place on my body, blessed with real acknowledgement of fear, grief, belly aches, heart aches, head aches, womb aches.

Cared about . . .
all that me . . .
all that life force . . .
all that effort . . .

Grateful. I allowed gratitude, a powerful frequency, a vibration, an experience to fill and heal me. And heal me it did.

I want to take a moment here and honor my sisters miraculous journey. She is our phoenix and after 14 years of illness galvanizing her teen-hood and much of her twenties, I am filled with gratitude for her profound healing, her growth, and her health.

Now, did I NEED my mother to say these things . . . no. Healing doesn’t have a singular pathway — not that I have seen — it is beyond rules. But I needed acknowledgment and gratitude. That I needed.

It is one of the greatest kindnesses of the universe that I get to have those needs met and receive those blessings from my mom in the flesh. I have learned through all of our shared heartache that we have so much profound wealth. And so here I sit, truly filled with Gratitude.



Thank you Mom. Thank you Ada.
Thank You Dad. Thank you Aaron.
Thank You life. Thank you Love.

I am, this lifetime and forward — which is also backward : ) — I am who I am because of you.

Thank you for all your care and tending of me. I acknowledge your heart aches, your belly aches, your headaches from watching me wander and hurt, from your own life and struggles, and for us trying our best and having it still really suck sometimes.

I love you.

To you, precious reader. I acknowledge your fear and grief deep below the conscious level from things you couldn’t comprehend.

Thank you for your life and all the work you have spent to bring love and care into the lives of those you love and to yourself. Thank you.

All Is Well — FREE eBook by Sophia Hoffer-Perkins



If you want to read the eBook, enter your information in this form and you will receive a link to download the file.


Hi dear one,

Over the past three weeks I started a seven week journey with a dear friend and powerful transformational healer. I call her The Stone Doctor — Crystal who does with Crystal Resonance. In three weeks with the help of her, the earth, and this full moon, I am a new woman. I am delighted with the sense of unification and ease I am experiencing while making huge and vulnerable power moves!

Over past few weeks I have formulated my next group program (which will start in October 2014), committed to doing a live virtual event in September 2014, and written and eBook. WHAT!

The eBook. I have it for you today. What! Bam! Magic in the air. Wrote it and now it’s all designed and beautifully laid out for easy use as a reference.

It’s transparently called, ALL IS WELL: 7 Master Teaching Secrets for Mentors, Coaches, Healers, & Facilitators. A great resource for teaching artists, practitioners, and just about any type of transformational professional or educator who wants to take a look at some of the guiding principles for embodied teaching and healing.

The eBook is full of real life stories and examples — you know how I do — and take away tips for applying these suggestions to your work. My hope is that this resource nourishes, enlightens, and reminds people of ways to bring optimal healing into the opportunities we have as teachers and guides.

I also hope that this eBook will be authentically useful and organically introduce me to new people — please share with someone who you think will find it useful. I hope that this eBook will go out into the world as a Master Teacher, teacher of healers, healer for teachers, teacher of teachers, and a healer for healers.

If you are stepping out into the world with your new self right now, high five! and a hug, and a deep breath . . . it feels good right? If you are aching to come out, let that ache guide you into the cry that is begging to become a song. Breathe deep and see if you can find one next step to move you into that freedom.

Love and profound gratitude is what I am experiencing this very moment.

The creation of this eBook is what happened as a result of allowing myself to get the support I was longing for . . . movement, expression, ease, joy, risk, courage, and vulnerable sharing. Here we go!

If you want to read the eBook, enter your information in this form and you will receive a link to download the file.

I am jamming out to trip hop on SoundCloud right now and feeling the summer peak of possibility! I am sitting in front of my computer at midnight and I have jury selection in the morning, and yet, I feel like I am dancing my heart out under an endless starry sky.

Thank you for believing in me and loving me. You. Divine. Me. Thank you for making love grow. We are going to need that to keep growing to turn the tide of this planet… so every bit is very important to me. Thanks.


I Am Whole Just As I Am


Hello loved ones,

This past weekend we had the company of a profoundly powerful new moon.

The themes I have seen repeatedly emerging are releasing shame and embodiment.

The first, healing shame is an intensive experience. It requires revealing, exposure, sharing, and intimacy. We carry ideas, stories, and beliefs that create a heaviness in our spirit. Shame creates isolation and then it demands more isolation. Here is my call to your tender spirit who is tempted to believe that you’re actually a piece of shit — you are not. You are a precious complex and beautiful being.

Which leads entirely into embodiment — embodying your precious, complex, and beautiful human being. Claim that. Claim that in the face of it being incredibly challenging and counter-culture. Claim it in-spite of your family’s expectations. Claim it by breathing deep in the face of fear. Claim the truth that grows love out of wounds. Claim your wholeness. Claim it right now. If you are willing say this: “I choose to believe in my wholeness and do what it takes to release the shame I have been carrying.”

Here is a medicine song to support and soothe you in your healing!!!

Your healing. My healing. Our healing. The healing.

Thank you.

Follow these links to find other insights on healing shame and read another story about shame and embodiment.

Blessings and mad wild grateful love,