Young Women’s Wisdom

By request from a father I put together this intensive day to create a sacred space that introduces girls around their menarche into the foundations of women’s wisdom and sisterhood. Please spread the word to anyone who might want to send a precious soul to be with me for the day on July 13, 2014 in Philadelphia, PA!

Thank you and blessings to you!
xoxox
Love,
Sophia

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Young Women’s Wisdom: One Day Intensive for Pre-Teen & Teen Girls

Is your daughter around the age of starting her period?
Is she a sensitive person who needs skills to connect with and express her feelings?
Do you wish that your daughter had a space where she could learn a whole new context for being female, one that is loving and respectful?

This one day intensive is a transformational experience designed to teach pre-teen and teen girls how to embrace their new and emerging self.

Sacred space is the heart of Women’s Wisdom. Just as empowering is the cycle of the body, though it is often made to be confusing in our culture.

Over the course of the day, using play, art, sharing, and skill building I will open your daughters’ eyes to a new vision of herself, her body, her feelings, and her wisdom. In a safe space, I will lead them to explore and discover a view of this time that nourishes their heart, awakens their soul, and gives themselves courage to find and tend sisterhood.

That’s a lot in a day, right? Well, girls are capable of many magical things.

July 13th, 2014 9:30am – 6:30pm
At The Reiki School + Clinic
$108 for the day!

My name is Sophia and I love working with people to have the skills and sacred context to find joy and ease through life. I combine my experience as a mystic since childhood, a trained massage therapist, Reiki Master, shamanic practitioner, and an Omega faculty member for teen programming for over ten years. I treasure making space for teens to be heard and equipping them with skills that just aren’t taught elsewhere!

Register for this unique program by emailing Sophia@SophiaHofferPerkins.com or call me at 215-906-3590.

If you want to talk to see if one of your girls is the right fit set up a call with me so we can talk it out. Schedule that call here: https://www.timetrade.com/book/PZ5PP

Beam Love & Don’t Make Eye Contact

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Hey my dear sweet friend,

I have to start by sharing that its been such an intense feeling time. The theme that I have seen from the inside and out is Identity Crisis. Well, Identity Transformation with moments of, “who the fuck am I?”

This is to be expected. Months ago I asked the question, “are you willing to change who you are to have the life you want?” My answer was, and is still YES.

This is simple. For example, am I willing to become a wife if the life I want envisions a lifelong partnership and family merging with legal, spiritual, and cultural responsibilities and gifts? If I do, am I willing to actually become a “wife.” It doesn’t matter the word — wife, partner, Sophia, husband. The question is, am I willing to enact and inhabit this different life landscape, and behave differently?

This is just an example — a commitment to any project, relationship, or vision requires the same change. Will I address the habits that keep me from doing changing in the new way I am now committed to?

So I answer yes and what happens next? Change.

Do you have a hard time with change? If so, I encourage you do the driver’s seat meditation from the spring medicine kit — it’s an all seasons kind of healing.

So here I am now. Changed. A neither here nor there state really. I am not who I was, and yet I am not the embodied self I am moving towards. Note: we aren’t ever fully there because the purpose of the vision itself is to help us grow. Still, there is an equilibrium, an arriving point, a completion that is possible. I have felt it before and that is not where I am now.

In all ways I am more present, more happy, and more myself than I have ever felt before and yet I struggle with recognizing this new experience of self. Who am I? What am I doing?

Ahh human form . . .

I did something amazing last week. I moonlodged. That is when I camp out in my Red Tent Temple while I am menstruating and soak in women’s / body’s wisdom. I was in the moonlodge for the first time in many cycles. Since winter really. I was phoning in during that time, which has its time and place. Calling long distance on a holiday does a lot to keep the family together, so I am not being hard on myself about it. I acknowledge the self care I did then.

This moonlodge was deep. Prayer, meditation, dreams, painting, Reiki, sleeping alone, messages, bath, 4am healing wails with cries and releases, spirit guide medicine. Full fledged on.

I want to share with you one of my paintings from that time. The message came to me during a guided meditation when I went to visit a future version of myself as my highest potential in ten years. I found her at ease, focused, surround by life activity and lounging. She was nourished. She was kind and looked upon with pride and love and compassion — joy. I asked her, “how do I get to here?” I painted her answer to guide me moving forward:

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“Treat ALL negative self talk like a child in time out. BEAM love, and do not make eye contact. Useful feedback will come to you other ways. It’s okay to be Happy. It really is.”

This is huge. This is a subtle and immense change. I have spent over fifteen years listening to every little voice that rises in me as carrying something very important. Even the harsh and mean voices. (Which I still largely recommend.)

Now I have this new, clear message. I don’t need to look any further. Negative self talk — which is name calling, like, “I’m such a fuck up.” “Why am I so stupid?” “”Nobody cares what you have to say.” “You’re a waste of space.” “I can’t, I’ll be a burden.” — I hear them all. I think most of us hear those messages these days. I’m open to that being an arcane thing.

NOW I KNOW exactly what the deeper and important lesson is. My inner self is having a freak out and NEEDS a time out, to be loved, and not to be encouraged with attention. Beaming LOVE is very important. Love that negative talk, and do not heed it. Focus on what is actually here in the now that needs to be attended to.

May this support you in your own precious and powerful identify shift. Confusion is essential for learning something new. It’s a sign that you’re not just fitting new information into an old mindset. Confusion means the mindset itself is changing.

Ask the questions. Look deeply. Feel into the wisdom that is asking to be heard and be gentle, gentle, gentle. 

Helpful solid advice doesn’t need to come with personal attacks. I believe you can and will listen to useful feedback without bullying yourself or listening to external negative talk. In fact, from what I’ve seen, you’re more likely to be able to advance forward with less intimidation across the board.

I’ve seen it too many times to doubt it. Love yourself — boldly, radically — and you’ll have the energy required to change those ingrained and often fear-based and protective ways of being.

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!
Summer love time.

Many many many blessings to your growth and change and magic,
Sophia

Alchemy in LA

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Hello sweet thing!

I am glad you exist in this moment. Way to be here. Thanks for being with me here. I want to share about some incredible shit that has gone down in the past month that has been in addition to my incredible wedding — and when I get the photos I will be sharing some highlights from that. I’m digesting and feeling grateful for the incredible community, wife, and life that was all that jazz.

Now, I want to share with you a really amazing experience I had in LA. This past year has been so full with successes and learning, and f-ups and more learning. I know that there is more of that ahead of me as I ask and answer this question: how do I turn my passion, dedication to healing, and love for the planet into a more sustainable path?

In May 2014 I went to LA for a branding photoshoot. It was incredibly fun. If you have seen some of the photos on Facebook, this is the story of how they came about. I want to share the underbelly of what happened for me that day.

The magic of that day was in the alchemy of collaboration between all of the wonderful women and artists present — but this post would actually be the length of a novel if I shared all of that with you so we’ll do with snippets of my part for now. It’s a long epic tale, but I will bring you into the story here.

I arrive at a beautiful studio in West Hollywood. One of my mentors, Christina Morassi, is there and she spends time getting us, four other women and me, into the zone. Supporting our vulnerable, authentic, and deep presence, teaching us tricks of the trade for the set, and then sending us off get ready. I was paired up with a total soulmate (who you’ll meet in the video at the bottom of this post) and we get in the hair and make-up chairs. I put chanting in my ears, and as I get my hair and make-up done, I chant wahe guru, and guru guru wahe guru ram das guru to soothe my nerves, bring me home into my self, and cultivate and brew the light through and within me. You know. It’s fun and we’re laughing, sharing belly hugs, and having a grand ole time.

Before I go on with the story I have a joyful confession to make. In one of the closets in the West Philly Red Tent Temple, I have a collection of beautiful things. From a self discovery I made on a pilgrimage across the country, I found that I LOVE BEAUTIFUL DRESSES. And my dream fantasy is to do sacred singing in a full length gown. Okay — go on.

The moment comes, the chair turns, I am in full dress, hair, make-up — everyone looks at me, gasps, and gives encouraging words — “Wow, you look beautiful, gorgeous.” My heart starts to race, my body tightens, I scan the room, and then I say, “I need help.” A memory rushes into my mind. I’m a sophomore in high school, dressed for the sock-hop. I get in the car and a family member turns to me, gasps, and with a great sense of compliment says to me, “you’re so beautiful it makes me sick.”

I tell this story on set, my eyes filling with tears. I don’t want to look too beautiful. I don’t want people to feel sick. Tears fall. I start to pace and it’s clear that I need some time before I go on set. Starla Fortunato, the brilliant photographer, says two things, ‘one, you don’t have to hide your shining here. And two, everyone gets to have their feeling here. Take your time, on to the next person.’

I breathe deep and think — I came prepared for this. I go to my bag, pull out my sweetgrass. I go out to the street where I get annoyingly honked at as I light the sweetgrass and pray to my ancestors for peace and guidance. I go back upstairs and ask for a place in the studio that won’t be in the way. I am shown to the space behind the back drop where I set up my altar.

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When the time comes, I take my shiny, dedicated self on set. I give it all I have and I have SO MUCH FUN.

Eckhart Tolle, who wrote The Power of Now, says that once you realize there is no past or future, it’s possible to understand that your life is always well and that anything that doesn’t feel well is just the situation that you are attending to. With this understanding it becomes obviously clear that it is best to do what brings you joy. I felt that way exactly on set, even saying that in my next career I am going to be a model — it was just so fun. I danced around and was joyful. That is half of what I want to do in this career anyhow : ). I gave it my all — which risks a fall along the way — and is totally worth it.

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The first round of photos was complete so then I had a total ego party in my mind thinking, “I’ve done stuff like this before. It’s great and fun, but I am not sure that something new has been captured here . . . ” And then I prepared for round two, which was a knock out.

I put on my next outfit, the one I knew I would wear, the one that I felt that special feeling in, similar to finding my wedding dress. The stylist looked at me and said, “Okay Grammys.” I told her how my dream was to sing Kirtan in a floor length gown, that my internal worlds love costumes and praying almost equally. She was very supportive.

This time I had no panic, no freak out. The team kept saying, “Sophia’s ready,” and Starla would say, “no, not yet, she needs more time.” She leaned in and said to me, “why don’t you go spend some more time with your altar.” I do my best to listen to really good advice — even when it’s from my mom or my wife — so I listened here too.

This is where the story gets hard to write about. It gets subtle, and profound, bodily, and channeled. I stand over my altar and I prayed again to be used in this life to the optimal positive healing impact possible. A frequent prayer. Then I heard/knew/felt all at once this message:

“You have taken every other gift you have and learned to wield it, own it, become a dedicated craftsman to the flow of the cosmos. Your appearance is part of what was given to you. You didn’t choose it, so accept it and inhabit it, inherit it, tend it and use it like you did with everything else. If you can turn mental health diagnoses into gifts, you can do that transformation here too.”

I looked at the reflective background. I saw myself. I felt ripples through my body. My epic fantasy nerd got so excited because I looked like I stepped out of some scene. I knew I would take my altar on set, I would leave my hooded coat on, and I would play with this hilariously epic scene. I would take my internal world — how I focus, strengthen, quiet — out in front of the ten people I had met that day. I would put it in front of the camera and then I would surrender and play.

I practiced. I prayed. I connected. If you look closely at my hands you can see that they are in mudra (or in full extension, engagement), because I was drawing myself — my whole being, being beyond my being — from top to bottom into and through my body. Those who have had sessions with me or been taught by me in recent years may recognize this place. This is a deep ritual space I hold.

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The ripples would rise and I would start laughing and then screaming and then it would pass and start all over again.

Starla asked me to use one of the items from my altar. I asked for permission to cleanse her space. I said, “I won’t be able to pretend to do it so I need your permission.” She said, “Clear it out and send it out the window behind me.” I did my best.

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I was in ecstasy.

It was beautiful. And intense. And deep.

This experience showed me, yet again, that healing comes, wherever, whenever. It’s not the action alone that determines the healing-ness of something. The intentional construction of the day (thanks Christina!), the shamanic aspects built in to the process, and my own added practices invited a powerful possibility. And truly it is who I am and how I walk the path that determines my experience and the amount of healing that I find as I bump into, choose to walk into, or find myself in experiences along the way.

I learned so much in this day, more than I can put into words. As my prayer and dedication merged with costumes and play, the joy, the sheer joy of it, is something that has changed me.

I made this video with my friend and new found soulmate Yummy after my final shoot to share that the experience of processing can be so very diverse. My intention in this video is to encourage permission to feel and process however you darn well do. No apologies.

Blessings to you and your awakening, your joy, your bliss, your healing, your sharing your precious and powerful light and your very specific set of gifts. Blessings to you on your beauty.

Love,
Sophia

Spring Medicine Kit

Spring is the time of powerful emergence, and emergence comes with one constant: Change. My sage mother, Grace Perkins, taught me the mantra, “Change is correct and desirable.” Now let’s be clear.  We may not already believe that’s true.  We work with a mantra because we need to commit to inviting a new idea into our lives.  Repeating that mantra is how we integrate the idea into our actions and ourselves.

Change comes with fear because all fear is the fear of death (see #34 of 50 things that help me heal post), and all death is the death of ego.  True transformation means we are no longer who we were.  ¡Deep Breath!  Again.  Another one.  “Change is correct and desirable.”  Remember?  Smiling….. can really help, as can tears, so whatever rises probably has potential for helping you through.

My teacher Tami Kent (the Wild Feminine one) says the antidote to fear is breath.  My mother says it’s joy.  I say it’s the full inhabitance of life, which happens through repeated inhale and exhale and creates joy.  My understanding affirms both Tami’s and my mother’s wisdom.

Today I am offering you a recorded meditation of an expanded visualization my teacher Anastasia Netri did with me.  I have done it with every single one of my clients and classes, and I think it’s definitely time to share it with you all.  I am giving you this meditation to help ease and address the fear part…  Leading to RELIEF, which may lead to breath…. and joy!

Meditation can be downloaded here.

I am also giving you the song “Peace Now” – because having a song as a balm can be very helpful with the fear voices, and this one serves me very well. I have two versions of it.  They are both still rough cuts of medicine songs, but I hope they will serve you.
*It was sung at my wedding by a hundred people as a blessing on Kim and me, and it was so beautiful.  :)*

Peace Now

Peace Now (Solo)

Lyrics:

Peace now peace
I find safety in trust now
Peace now peace
I find worthiness in existing now
Peace now peace
I find love in faith now
Peace now peace
I stand with all who stand with me now
Peace now peace
We honor all that came before now
Peace now peace
We choose freedom now
Peace now peace
Peace now peace
We choose peace now
Peace now peace
Peace now peace

Love,
Sophia

Medicine Song – Moon Goddess’ Skirt

Hi Sweet Spirit,

Spring has shown its face to me today in Philly!

Here’s the question of the week, are you willing to change your habitual choices so you can you be who you want to be?

It’s something I have been asking myself, as I prepare for the next big round of changes in my life. Am I really willing to let go of my old habitual ways of being so I can have the life I want?

Yes.

Spring is here, we plant all these intentions, ask for healing, look for insight, and then the time comes for change. Are you willing? I ask myself my clients this question out loud, and then answer out loud. Try it on. Are you willing? _______. Making the decision is the hardest part. Fear/excitement and grief just come with change, doesn’t mean the change is wrong or bad, its just part of the deal. To really change we have to let go of what we know, that’s the ultimate risk and is what creates ultimate possibility. Then we just see what happens!

Here’s a song for the tender part, its a rocking, resting, lullaby for healing. Enjoy!

 

The song came during a session using the phrase my mother has shared with me and her yoga students for years “imagine you are being rocked in the hem of the moon goddess’s skirt,” and a tune that came in rocking and rocking and rocking. It’s a sweet lullaby inviting deep rest.

Moon Goddess’s Skirt

You are being rocked in the hem of the moon goddesses skirt as she sings, as she sings

Rest, rest.

You are loved, you are love.

Peace!

Sat Nam!